"Perfect" by Ellen Hopkins

**Spoilers!**

Perfect, by Ellen Hopkins, is the story of four high school students struggling with colleges, love, their futures, and what perfect really means.

This was the first book to get me to cry. Ever. I'm so serious. As an ode to how important this fact is, I read The Five People You Meet in Heaven, and The Faults in Our Stars, both of which I like to think of as a downright sad books, and did not cry during those. 

This book was amazing. When I first read the blurb, I thought it was going to be cheesy. But it was so intense and saddening and an amazing mix of poetry and narrative. The stories were so believable it hurt. You could feel all the raw emotion. Hopkins does some of the most amazing things I've ever seen with literature. I loved Crank, probably one of Hopkin's most famous books, but I think this book should be just up there with it.

The ending is what really did me in. It's so impossibly unhappy, but so terribly hopeful. Andre is ready to face his family, but Jenna is raped. Sean's life is permanently messed up and he's borderline crazy thanks to obsession and steroids, Conner dies, but Cara find her true self and finally finds love with Dani. 
Kendra is torn and anorexic (and seems to stay that way), but has seen inside her family and admitted her feelings fully for maybe the first time.

It's the mix of jealousy, desire, love, hate, lust, anger, violence, sadness and maliciousness that make this book such a deliciously dark read, and reel you in. The characters seem to each represent something perfect people want in their lives, each one twisting this image painfully, making you realize how fast cracks can form from perfection. Each character gives you a different approach on perfect in people's lives.

I hated Sean. He was so self-involved, and childish, and by the end of the book, I was afraid of him, and afraid of what he thought was right in his twisted, broken mind. He's so creepy and insane at the end, it's hard to imagine anyone like that. His motives started off so pure. He was so in love with Cara, you feel sorry for the guy that she didn't try to justify herself to him at all. She just broke it off, then even though he was hung up over her and one of her best friends (as she mentions in the first part of the book), she doesn't try to explain anything

Cara was near the most relaxed character. Most of the story, she was just crazy in love, and handling it, or thinking about her older brother. I thought that her realizing she was lesbian was a little too fast (like when they're skiing she just automatically says 'Maybe' she's lesbian when Danielle asks? There is no hint of that she is before that. I think it's amazing that she found what she really wanted, but it was kind of forced, especially if it was her first time with a girl. I think she would have been a little more nervous. Though I also didn't read the first book, which could have exposition to this fact in it), but her sadness at the end of the book was just so real. Her crying, "Mommy" and, "Daddy" when Conner died, even though she hated them most of the time and resented them? It was so raw.

Kendra was in so much denial. I wanted an emotional breach. It was almost hard to get attached to her. Her problem was so much more than her eating disorder. She reminded me of a mild Sean, because she only thought of Conner. She used him to justify her own madness.

Andre was also fairly mild compared to everyone else. He should be himself. I think that his relationship with Jenna really made him interesting. He adored and loved her unconditionally. But she was too childish, and too scarred by her parents to reciprocate. It's almost a relief when you see she realizes this. And when she gets raped right after Andre breaks it off with her, it's so sad. 

THE BOOK IS SAD.

But...
This book is one of my all time favorite, and always will be.